Fartified - With Vitamins and Bunions
Flu'0'Matic - BEST SELLER
this winter!
Air Farce Defense - Budget Reaches New Heights!
Knight Rider is OWNED
Man Sues Plastic Surgeon
Puts His Ears On Backwards!
QUARTER BACK TURNS QUARTER POUNDER! Out to lunch star loses
$20 million football Job!
Man Upgrades Car - Using Metro Sewage Pump, It Goes Like A Stink!!
IRAN CIA MAN EVADES CAPTURE! disguises himself by growing eyebrows
Woman glances winning lottery ticket!
Doctors say, damage is permanent.
MAN BAN FROM FAN! Chinese Fan Man
In food scandal hygene probe
WARNING! One item kills instantly.
Have You Seen This Man?
If you have then please contact your local law enforcement community. Inform them with haste of your prediciment. Whilst on the call to save bother and a few bucks in phone charges, ask them if they can speedily send round a descrete unmarked vehicle to take you to a safe environment for an indefinate period of time. 'and or' Drug Rehabilitation, Psycho Theorapy etc etc...
SQUIRREL FINDS BEER! - And loses his nuts.
Inventor of (paw by paw) Say's, Flat tyres thing of the past!
Matadoor loses job, breakdancing bull steals show!
FRIED CHICKEN SHOCK! Mel Gibson is really Colonel Sanders. Actor now owed millions in royalties
LOVE SPLIT SHERIFF, Say's keep the cave,
I rented it!
BIRTHDAY GIFT HORROR!
Small child bitten by suspicious looking bunny.
WARNING! SOMALI PIRATES SEEN
driving cars! Well not exactly...
Half Man, Half Invisible - You saw it here FIRST! or did you?
Amish Air - SAVES PLANET!
Powered on raw oats and beans, propelled by natural gAss.
Don't knock it, it'l knock you out!
Don't knock it, it'l knock you out!
WOOD it SCARE YOU, OR WOOD it NOT! - Wood you ride on it?
WOMAN 'HIT' BY GIANT ASHTRAY - Police searching smoking gun!
CAR SALESMAN - Turns Environ'MENTAL'
CONFUSED CHICKEN - Lays Golden Dog!
For Once I am Speechless!
CUTE LITTLE POOCHE - Plays with nice green ball!
Drooling Dog Downs Another Nice Green Ball!
MAN GETS SOAP IN EYE - Accidently Grabs Lion Reaching For Towel
PAC-MAN FOUND!
WELFARE CHECK CYCLIST - Water Speed Record 'A Success' Breaking parachute deployed!
NEW Leisure Center Opens - local community are jubilant!
Strange Notice Found!
PATRIOTIC CAT IS BORN - A Product Of Genetic Modification, The cat runs up flag poles, whistling 'The Star Spangled Banner' whilst unfurling crumpled flags! A TRUE PATRIOT!
Boo!
KILLER KITTEN AT 'LARGE'
MAN CONVINCES MOTHER IN LAW TO FACE THE SUNLIGHT!
SAVED! - Hungry Squirrel Eats Straw To Stay Alive!
Ancient Lost Civilisation Invents Motor Scooter - Crash Helmet Salesman Gets Eaten!
Annual 'Sess Pool Diving' Entrants Can Hardly Contain There Excriment!
World Gurning Champ Gazumped
Queen WINS By Default
Unemployed Man Becomes Personal Toilet Technician!
Helping People Shed Pounds With A Smile!
?
Animal Lover Takes Up Parachuting
Ah.. The Joys Of Childhood!
CHAIN SMOKERS COMPUTER
Finally Quits!
Sweet Old Lady Modifies Motorised Shopping Cart In Rough Neigbourhood
Scientists Develop New Ro'Butt'
It 'Goes' For You!
Do It Yourself Submarine is a Washout!
Hippy loses His Bycycle Inside Tree?
WARNING! - Escaped Chicken is Seen, Disguised As A Man
Warning - Instant Canned Heart Attack!
AFTER LONG PLANNING DELAYS - Toilet Facility Now Open!
FOR SALE - Sports Car (Check Out The Alloys!)
Mans Pride And Joy - Gets 'Infested' With Sound!
No Boat! No Water! No Problem!
Spacecat Exclaims - Moon not made of Cheese! But Kitty Litter!
Today's MAIN STORY - Mice
Are Found In A Loaf.
Hangliding Cat is Spotted and We Want One!
For More NEWS Come Back NEXT WEEK!
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